不喜欢我的她

你说不会要问你， 你喜欢不耻下问的人。。可是你有仔细聆听我的声音吗？
我鼓起勇气向你发问时， 你却听不到。。或许你是假装没听到。。你一开始就歧视我了对吧。。。
虽然你不是直截了当的说，我却能感受得到你真的不喜欢不欣赏我。。。
在我面前称赞别人“我最喜欢学得快聪明的人了，你很厉害哦！”
我明白的。。。他的确比我棒。。才不过两天就能掌握得很好。。。
不像我。。已经两个星期以上了。。做事还是唯唯诺诺。。。处于紧张慌神状态。。一直都没给你好的表现。。
我知道他的确值得你赞许。。。可是你可有考虑过我的感受呢。。。自己学习吸收慢，理解能力差。。英文语法也不像刚来的小弟那样厉害。。。
你可以一视同仁吗?我知道你不想看到我对吧？！反正我在和没在都没差，你是这么想的。。。再过一个星期。。。我就会消失在你的视力范围了。。你开心，我也会很开心。。
这一个星期内。。我活得很痛苦无比压力。。我无时无刻感受着你藐视我的态度。。你让缺乏信心勇气的我更跌入谷底，让我觉得自己很没用自己的存在是多余的。。我一直强忍着。。。对着你笑。。对着每一个人笑。。
而且我还知道。。我知道你喜欢聪明的他因为他可以减轻你工作的负担。。。甚至于可能你是在利用他替你工作吧。。你这几天都很闲嘛。。有我们这些做后盾， 再加上聪明的他。。你都无忧无虑的翘着脚等下班了。。
可在老板面前还拼命装忙的样子。。他们都不说你， 我却看在眼里。。。我不敢告诉他们我的想法， 我不敢问他们是否和我一样感受。。看他们处之泰然的。。我想他们不这么认为。。
是我的思想偏激吗？是吧。。。那个聪明的他总是抱着乐观，热血精神很有责任感的工作着。。的确让人钦佩。。我也非常欣赏这位小弟，我希望自己也能像他那样， 甚至看不起自己了。。。何况是你呢。。。我认了。。。

痛苦的日子快点结束吧。。。

im having my miserable, stress and unhappy life since i start my practical training under front office department...
i felt like im reli useless person at thre coz dunno wat to do...
i try to help out but im reli poor in check in check out using pc system..n i oso lack of the hotel knowledge ...ability communication using english language oso very poor...
im reli feel upset when i stand in front like a statue or a vase, guest coming but nothing i can do...
i try to improve myself but wondering whre is my courage going?!
i hate myself why i cant be like others think positive, high spirit to work, overcome everything confidently...y im the one so chicken...
i try to escape everything n i try ask for transfer bck d previous department from executive trainning but din help...the answer is i still hv to face it and try overcome...
i always feel panic when facing in front of guest...i cant reli get wat their means...i donno it is becoz my english reli poor or my ear hving listening problem...when i feel nervous n panic, i cant do everything well...n i will start feel ashame of myself n even think that everyone look down on me...i start suffering stomachache...n i cant smile as usual anymore...
i realise that i din laugh from my deep heart for a long period of time already...
why it is me?why am i like tat?
n d sad story for today, im reli shock and dissapointed on one of my friend training at same department with me...the 1st time i do n fill up d checklist...no one teach and guide me...so i juz follow d sample from the previous checklist...i shouldnt sign up the signature behind but i did juz like d sample one of my colleague did before...
n the receiver said tat it is wrong...he is the one to sign it...but he said it is small matter...take easy..n my friend beside me ask me who belong that signature?!i said mine n one of other colleague,she is a partimer...n i use body language"shh..." means not to said out...but she dint...although it is juz a small case, she told d senior colleague we did wrong...instead she even told others colleague from different position...n everyone laugh at me...how come she did tat to me..OMG~~it is reli horror world...but wat can i do?i juz can be patience till i finish my training last...i will be free from all of this disguise n digusting mask...